At times I like to believe I am super woman and I can run a 20 ring circus and keep it all together…all the time. But, I must admit that although I maybe able to do many many things at once and do them well… there is always a price to pay… something always falls through the cracks. For the past few month I have been writing grants, teaching, in grad school, trying to maintain my relationships, and be…well super Bianca. In order to find time to also sleep and maybe even eat…I have neglected my blog. I haven’t written a post in what feels like forever. It crosses my mind so often but, I haven’t found a spare second to do one. Today I decided to rectify that with a post about something else the fell threw the cracks for a few months: MY WORK OUTS! Last fall I was so diligent about doing my Insanity Workouts, posts, etc. I made it all the way into the new year doing blogs and working out…then I got sick for two weeks and started a very stressful semester. I managed to hang on to my P90x workouts until about February and then it quickly petered out. I’d work out here and there but, I couldn’t get consistently back onto the regime. It has bugged me to no end that I didn’t finish this video series so, I have decided to do a reboot. This was my first week back and let me tell ya…it hurt like hell but, was so worth it.
Trying to get back into the swing of things with workouts is never easy for me. It means facing the fact that I’ve lost muscle strength or feeling like my heart is racing because my cardio has fallen off. The worst part however is being sore. I hate being sore. Not just the physical sensation but, also the mental toll. It’s hard to admit but, I am a wimp. I hate pain. I am not one of those people that believes working out should be torture. There was a time I believed that but, I’ve become a total wimp in my old age. I have no issue with feeling totally wasted after a work out but, I am not one of those people that believes it must be “painful” in order to see results. When I am working out consistently I get a little soreness from pushing myself harder gradually but, strive not to have the full body festival of pain. However, I know that when I’ve fallen off the wagon getting back on is NEVER easy. In fact it’s the thing that some times prevents me from getting back on the wagon because I know it’s gonna suck. I know it’s gonna be painful. I know that those weeks off are gonna cost me big time in the soreness department.The first weeks back become more about mental strength then my physical one. This week I was excited about getting back into shape but, knew that the mental hoops I was going to have to get past would be the biggest issue. Or would it?
I started the roller coaster with the Chest, Back, Abs video. It was fun to do, and I was lulled into believing it was gonna be an easy week because I felt strong. I was so proud of myself by the end of day one. I thought maybe I was all worried for no reason. Then day two rolled around and I woke up with really sore abs . It was as if the first domino had fallen and I began to doubt myself. I made it through the Plyometrics video strong…sore abs and all. I pushed through the jumps and fun upbeat moves with relative ease but, that nagging feeling in my abs just foreshadowed the future that was in store.
By day three I was totally 100% sore just about every where. It hurt to laugh. If I sat down for too long it was as if my quads had locked up. My calves laughed at me as I walked up the stairs. The soreness monster had moved into my body and it would take every ounce of mental strength I had left to push through the week of workouts despite the pain. As I did my shoulder, arm, and abs work out I just breathed as deeply as I could through the pain. I picked a weight just below my absolute max for the first section and just told myself to get to the end. But, by the second time around in the series I was only using 5lb weights. I was in pain and wanted to just give up. To stop and sit it out. I didn’t matter that I had only 15 minutes left. I wanted to be done. But, instead of giving up I took a five minute break. I drank some water. I stretched again. Then I turned it back on. I just needed to finish the video I told myself. If I can just finish next time it won’t hurt so much. I needed to push past that little part of my brain that said…I hate being sore. I hate being SORE!!! Right? Well by day four I was in fact insanely SORE! I was crawling out of bed that morning wondering why I was torturing myself. I didn’t know HOW I was going to finish this first week of hell. My mental monsters were out that morning in full swing!
But, just when I thought I couldn’t take any more P90x torture…I realized that day four was Yoga. Now this is still a 90 minutes p90x rigorous yoga…the kinda that makes you tired just watching them. But, the upside was that it totally broke up all that knotted pain inducing muscular pain I was feeling. I cried, screamed a little, and sweated my way through the postures. My arms ached. My legs were shaking. I felt like a sweater that had been shrunk in the dryer. A sweater that I was stretching from an XS to an XL. It HURT! Lord did it ever hurt. But it was so worth it because by day 5 I was back in the game. Leg, Back and Abs was not a treat on day 5 but, I could at least make it to the end without crawling to the shower. Yesterday was day 6: KenpoX. Lots of kicks, balance moves, punches at a pretty rigorous pace. I may have been a sweaty mess by the end…but I made it to the end!!! I finished the week.
I got past that part of my brain that HATES pain. I got past the part of my ego that said… you were lifting more before, you didn’t take so many breaks last time or wow you’re looking sloppy this time around, etc etc. I grunted and groaned my way to the end of week one. It wasn’t all that pretty but, I made it. I got back on the wagon. Today…I feel fine. I am not particularly sore and I’ve given that mental monster a bit of a whipping. So, tomorrow starts week two. I am pretty sure it won’t be easy. I am pretty sure I will again be sore. But, I am also sure that I can do it. I can push through it and keep going. I can and I will. I will because… this too shall pass!! So, if you are at the start of your own new work out regime…keep your head up even when it’s tough. Drink lots of water. Breathe. Don’t hurt yourself. But, most of all believe that you can do it and you will!
Have a great day ~